We tied a string to the front door, Lincoln ran into me, hit the string, the door slammed on accident and boom, the tooth flew into my hair, Kash had a nervous breakdown, Lincoln was screaming because Kash was bleeding, Kash was crying because she didn’t know what was happening, I was laughing because everyone was acting insane. Anyway, we have a tooth, both kids are happy now and Kash is in disbelief that she doesn’t have a tooth. Also, Lincoln is trying to pull his teeth out with his fake pliers. Happy Sunday.
-A message from the Wife
I am finally home from a long excursion over the past 8 months. It’s been about a year since I last put effort into posting to the ol’ blog. I have been writing, just not taking the time to edit and publish. I used work as an excuse (it can be real hectic and take up the majority of my time), and when I would have time I would distract myself with other activities. I’ve written about passed experiences and adventures, but I am saving those for something bigger.
Since the journey started to Japan, I have spent about 80 days with them within the past year and a half. It hasn’t been the most ideal situation, but the sandwich maker and I have managed through it and continue to just figure it out. My wife is being tested in a ways she never imagined and kicking ass at it. There are rough patches, but those come with the territory. One of the hardest things I have had to deal with is watching my kids grow up through a screen through most of it. I mean, it could be worse. I could be using snail mail, not have access to a smart phone with internet, and not be able to call/text daily. I appreciate the technology we have now-a-days, the connectivity at our finger tips.
I could sit here and be all depressed about not seeing the family and be mad at the world for the situation that I have been placed in, but I choose to make the best of it. I don’t always make the best of it though. I have blamed people and things for where I am at, but it never did any good. I am still here. I enjoy getting updates from my old lady (like the one from above) and the joys of raising two kids. My daughter has officially started school and my son is beginning to develop his personality. Kash is still as sweet as pie, and Krissi is beginning to see herself in her, the good and the frustrating. My son is all boy and is giving my wife a run for her money. He likes to make all sorts of noise, eat constantly and jump on the bed (which led to his first bloody lip). One moment that my wife did not find funny at all, but I could not stop laughing about was the day after she took the kids to the zoo where they saw some monkeys…
It was a normal evening in Japan. I had finished up at the gym and was getting ready to crawl into my rack (bed for you non-military folks) when I received the usual facetime from my wife when she would wake up in the states. We exchanged our usual pleasantries and she told me about how they had gone to the zoo the day prior. Both the kids had a blast and Lincoln took a special interest in the monkeys. I asked to see the ol’ Hot Rod in his natural habitat. My wife begrudgingly got out of bed and walked over to Hot Rod’s room.
Now I want you to imagine all the hate and discontent that comes from a woman when she first wakes up and all the death stares one could receive when making her do something she doesn’t want to do at that exact moment. Multiply that by about 10, and that is the look I got from my wife when I asked to get out of bed.
When my wife walked into the room, she stopped dead in her tracks. My son was standing there without a diaper on, holding it in his hand. He had the biggest grin on his face and was happy to see his mom.
There was shit everywhere, on his face, his hands, his sheets, and the walls. I heard my wife scream “LINCOLN!” as she hung up on me.
I can only imagine what ensued during the time between phone calls. Krissi was more than likely flustered and amazed. Hot Rod was happy as a clam throwing shit everywhere. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had taken a hose to the entire room with him in it to get everything clean. I ended up falling asleep before I talked to her again.
When I woke up the next morning, eager to hear how it all unfolded. I got that look again when she answered. The “I am so mad at him but I love him look” wives make. Apparently Hot Rod had acquired some bad habits from the monkeys at the zoo. Mainly the part of throwing shit everywhere. He had literally (think Rob Lowe from Parks & Rec) thrown it everywhere. The amount that was still in his diaper was amazing. He probably had taken his diaper off and just flung it around. She ended up having to hose him down in the tub, throw away the sheets, and scrub the walls and carpet. All while Hot Rod is maxin and relaxin thinking that shit is hilarious, probably eating a banana in his high chair watching minions.
I have to give it up to my old lady, I don’t think I would have had the stomach to make it through the poop infested air and quarantine my son to the tub while he was scrubbed down. I would have taken a hose to the entire room and then him. She puts up with a lot of shit from him, both the solid and attitude kind.
Do Work, Be Rad